You know those days you get sent a promo code for a free copy of a game and the makers probably hope you'll return the favour with a nice fluffy review...?This isn't one of those days!
I asked on Rec.Games.Pinball for a volunteer to review Monster Pinball and received several offers (so used the cunning selection process of accepting the first one). Up step Greg, or Rare Hero as you may know him on RGP and here's what he had to say...
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Let me start this review for Monster Pinball by saying I'm amazed by the positive reviews on the iTunes store...but then again, the general public doesn't know what separates a great pin from a crap one. Hell, that was ME 3 years ago before I got into this scene! So, this is a review BY a pinhead FOR pinheads.While nothing compares to the real deal, I love a good video pinball. You can tell when video game designers GET pinball, and a high bar has been set with such titles as Metroid Prime Pinball (DS), Flipnic (PS2), and Devil's Crush (Sega/NEC 16-bit). The iPhone/iTouch is a perfect format for pinball due to the screen shape and simplicity of controlling flippers by tapping the screen.
I bought Zen's Rollercoaster Pinball, and while it is a good attempt at creating a DMD style pinball, it's almost too complex, especially on a small screen. Monster Pinball takes a more simplistic design approach, but to the point of extreme minimalism. There is almost nothing populating the playfields. Yes, playfields. While this seems like a good value, one of the problems with this game's design is that all six playfields are interlinked. You can only drain and lose a ball in one of the playfields, as the other drains just send you to a different playfield. Because of this, it's almost impossible to lose! I like deep games that take a while (TSPP, LOTR) ....but this game isn't deep. There are no modes, no multiballs, no real goals. Six playfields w/almost nothing to do. The first time I played Monster Pinball, I was going for a good 20 minutes before even losing one ball!
One of the first things you notice in a video pinball game are the physics....and unfortunately, Monster Pinball's are awful. Much has been made of the 60 fps engine...sure, it's smooth - but it handles like a pachinko machine. Vertical gravity. It doesn't feel like a pinball incline at all.The design within each playfield barely makes sense. For instance, some have bizzare upper flippers that flip from up to down in a way that is completely non functional. I suppose the idea is that you hold the button and let go to flip...but there's nothing worthwhile to aim for from these flippers anyway! There are things that I think are supposed to be ramps...but they're so narrow they're almost impossible to hit, and when you do hit them...they don't take the ball anywhere worthwhile. No feeds back to the flippers...they're just there to be there. There are also little dots that are kind of a combination of rollovers and inserts. They light up or turn off as the ball rolls over them...but again - there's no point to it. It doesn't accomplish anything.
The sound is minimal as well. Some sci-fi beeps and bloops, and a voice that announces the playfields name...that's about it. No music, but you can play iPod tunes.
The only positive I can come up with is the art direction. It has a retro-modern look to it, and it's clean and sharp. The various monsters (actually they're more like aliens) on a few of the playfields have nice animation when you activate them w/ the proper hit.
It may seem like I'm being harsh considering this is a $3.99 game. If you liked those little plastic handheld pinball toys when you were a kid, this is like an iPhone version of that. It's interesting for a few minutes....but it's not a REAL pinball design that real pinball players would want. I'd recommend Wild West Pinball (Free) or Pinball Dreamin' ($4.99) over Monster Pinball. While those games aren't perfect either, they at least FEEL like pinball.
-Greg Colton
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Many thanks to Greg for submitting his review. When I chased him for his review a while back he asked for more time to improve on his "eh, it kinda sucks" thoughts - I guess the game designers might be hoping that we'd stuck with that! As Greg pointed out, we're PINBALL players not Pocket Gamers or whatever the mobile gaming folk are called. His review is his own opinion and may not reflect views of The Pinball Blog (although to be fair, it's not far off :)
Cheers
Nick
The Pinball Blog
4 comments:
This is the only negative review I have seen about Monster Pinball.
To see more reviews, have a look here:
http://www.pocketgamer.co.uk/r/iPhone/Monster+Pinball/review.asp?c=14021
http://www.148apps.com/reviews/monster-pinball/
http://www.appvee.com/t/monster-pinball
http://www.ipodtouchfans.com/forums/newreply.php?do=newreply&noquote=1&p=1589064
This happens, if some nerds stay in their little room for too long without watching outside the window. They have THEIR picture of THEIR pinball and how it has to be. Then some creative minds come along and say: Hey why not inserting a litte twist here and there, why releasing the next ultra-realistic pinball simulator (which by the way NEVER recreates the feel of a real arcade machine), why not spending some style, some speed...simply some extravaganza to show, that there can be some variety in this genre. Then they released Monster Pinball and most of the people in the real world LOVED it for its style, its charm, its fast pace. It was simply entertaining them like no other iPhone pinball game before. But the holy knights of the round pinball table felt betrayed. The earth has to be flat, if we say it is flat, they said. And everyone else who is thinking something else, is an amateur, a stupid fool and so they wrote a BIG BAD article to defeat this out-of-the-row pinball game... Now, they are sitting there, celebrating their victory and laughing about the fools out there in the REAL world.
The only very important thing, they should know;
The world doesn't care.
Please do yourself a favour and if you want real simulators, don't just start to lay your hands on some creative fresh games like Monster Pinball... It could hurt your feelings ;)
Thanks for the replies. Greg (who reviewed the game) was aware of the largely positive response the game was getting - I think he was surprised how little he liked it. As mentioned this is a PINBALL Blog and not a micro-gaming blog and the opinion of a 'real' pinball player is as valid as that of a hardcore gamer.
I wasn't going to not publish his review because it didn't agree with the general consensus of the game.
Cheers
Wow, SOMEONE'S defensive and blowing smoke up their own ass.
I said in my review - I like GOOD video pinball. Video pinball shouldn't be a simulator - but it should be more than a pretty pachinko machine! Play Flipnic on PS2, Metroid Prime Pinball on DS, or go back to the 16-bit Devils Crush. Fantastic video pinball - NOT simulations at all.
You can insult me all you want...there's nothing creative about the gameplay in Monster Pinball. You have good artists and can make a game run smooth. Whoopie...other than that, it blows.
Greg C.
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